To my brother one year later

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A year ago today my life was turned upside down. I will never forget our last conversation nor will I forget the phone call I got from mom a few hours after we had talked. I think about you everyday and what I could have done differently. I also think about what my life would be like if you were still here. This past year has had its ups and downs. When I’m down I say to myself if only you were here things would be better, and when things are good I think about you and how I wish you were here to enjoy it with me. They say time heals and maybe that’s true in some cases but when it comes to losing you I have to disagree. Don’t get me wrong, I try to look at the positive side of things but at the end of the day I just want my brother back. You are loved and missed by so many people. You impacted so many people’s lives in a positive way, your laugh was contagious to say the least, and to sum it up you were all around just an amazing person with a heart of gold. You were a great brother, son, and father, and nobody can take that from you. (your son) will know how awesome his dad was and how much you loved him. I know you are with us all the time but I wish you could just see how much (your son) has grown and how much alike you two are. I still struggle to really open up and talk about you and this whole situation and I probably always will…… but I just want to say I love you with all my heart,  and I always will. I promise I will always be here for your son. I know if it was the other way around you would do the same. I love you dude

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